July 24th, 2013

Having your own blog is nice because you can shamelessly promote your own work and no one can complain because no one reads your blog! Over the past year I have become absolutely obsessed with doing double exposures with manual and digital photography. While I have chosen to not scan any of my film images in (I have the shittiest scanner in the whole world) I can share with the internet my most recent double exposures, done in Photoshop, and other self portraits I've done. I'm hoping to start a series that is equal parts double exposure and silhouettes.

This is the same image as the above. I couldn't not include the original, it's just beautiful.

I quite enjoy taking intimate pictures of myself like this. I've been feeling kind of low lately, and this has really helped my self esteem. I hope you enjoy looking at them as much as I enjoyed taking and editing them.

July 20th, 2013

I have trouble describing my style to people who don't really know me as a person, because it's an outward version of my personality. I do get some odd looks for the things I wear and I occasionally get teased by the people I help at work. One of my co-workers tells me that I belong in Seattle, not in Wichita, and that thought sounds more and more appealing each day. Even with all the things that are tying me to this state, sometimes I just want to get up and go.

July 14th, 2013 (updated)

Sometimes I wish life was spelled out, that your destiny was foretold and anything that happened in between your birth and what your were meant to do was absolutely meaningless. I feel as though I've been punched in the gut, and all the air has vanished from my lungs, leaving me breathless and paralyzed with fear for for the next hit. My sadness is meaningless, of coarse. I will try to get up and dust myself off when the fight is over.

Here are some pictures from AFW (Anime Festival Wichita) 9 that I took this weekend.

I learned something about myself this weekend. That I have to push myself to be social because no one is going to do it for me. It paid off and I met some great new friends. I am hoping to learn from this experience and apply it to this coming school year.

After 3 days of convention goodness, I always start thinking about my next costume project. The next convention I'm planning on attending is Emerald City Steampunk Festival which is held in November. I plan on doing some elaborate dress, and some casual outfits for the other two days. AFW 10 is the big question. I'm leaning towards doing a gender swap Doctor Who, most likely 10 or 11. While I was looking up ideas for this gender swap I ran across this article on gender swap cosplay on Urban Outfitter's blog.While it is not very extensive, it makes my heart so happy to see that cosplay is permeating into the real world. I'll keep a log of my decision making regarding my steampunk costume and cosplays for AFW 10.

I tend to find a song that explains exactly how I'm feeling at that time and listen to it over and over again. This is that song:

Harder than Stone (acoustic) - City and Colour

 

July 11th, 2013

I'm really starting to go back and forth about my whole future. A part of me thinks marriage is a forced tradition that makes people cling to each other for no other reason than tax exemptions and to avoid harsh looks from more traditional folks (only when children are factored in). From what I have observed over the years, marriage is a hit or miss concept. Some people should be married, some people belong together.

A part of me wants to be married, to have kids, to do the whole family thing. I follow several photographers who do many weddings and the photographs raise these thoughts in me over and over again. I'm not even twenty and I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life because I haven't gotten married yet.

To be so in love with someone that you couldn't imagine spending another day without them in your life sounds like a dream to my girlish brain. Having someone who loves you just the same is also another girlish dream. My heart aches at the thought. 

It's a twisted thought process that has continued since I started at WSU last year and it's been bothering me a lot recently. 

July 9th, 2013

I'm up unusually early for being a teenager (if you count 19 as a teenager) in the summer. I don't stay up late like my brother does. It's just nice to be back on a regular sleeping schedule since I finished house-sitting this last weekend. While I love staying out late with friends, I like getting my "beauty sleep" (Haha).

Since I have my own blog, I can shamelessly promote the other things I do on the internet like post looks on Lookbook. Working at a clothing store gives me an up close and personal view of the way my peers are dressing themselves, some better than others. From the way I dress the majority of the time you would guess that I'm not from Kansas and most of the time I wish I wasn't. I wish I belonged to a bustling city on the east coast where it snowed more than an inch. 

It's probably a good thing that I'm not from a huge city. I already feel overwhelmed by the talent of my fellow Art & Design students at Wichita State. It's playing a part in my wanting to study art history, but I'm not sure if that's a positive thing or not. I love taking pictures and I love learning new techniques to express myself, but Art history is beyond fascinating to me. Once I get my degree I can curate the shows of the people who go through the studio art program. Bingo, job security. 

I am dying my hair back to bright red today, get excited.

Until next time.

July 7th, 2013

In an effort to avoid my essay assignment and my eminent second failure of College Algebra, I've decided to start a blog that is purely about me. I have been consistently told by someone whom I respect very highly to do what makes me, well... me. A month or so ago, I realized that posting my opinions or feelings publicly is generally a poor decision, but having an outlet is necessary. I own several journal's and write in the constantly, but with a laptop as a constant companion, I feel it is best to pick up where I left off in the blogging world. It's been quite hard recently to stay inspired, especially since it's the summer in the Midwest and it's been hot and humid (Two things I hate more than anything in the whole world). Taking pictures is a no-no, I work way too much, and I'm ultimately too flake-y to keep any plans with anyone other than my boyfriend (Whom I see less than once a month P.S. That sucks). It's only a matter of time before school starts, 42 days according to my handy timer app, and I will have classes about old dead guys and art to push me to stay on top of things.

Currently, I am obsessed with Lana Del Ray's album Born To Die: Paradise addition. This album has been the sound track of my summer, and I know it's particularly late to be fawning over an album that's been out for more than a year.

Until next time.